Library Notes
December 3, 2004
By Pansy Hundley, Librarian.
I went to a library meeting last week that was the most interesting, the most enjoyable, the funniest one I've ever been to. That was because of the speaker, and that speaker was Jeff Crilly of Channel 4 News.
I've watched him on the news for years and I knew that he could talk, but that's all I knew about him. He is an excellent speaker and has such a marvelous sense of humor. He got along with a whole room full of mostly women like a house afire.
Jeff has written a book and now every person at that meeting last week, has a copy of it. Some of them have an autographed copy of it, including this writer.
He signed his book for the lady in front of me in line and I said "Let me see that signature!", because I could see him "signing" it. And then I said to Jeff "You're just like some people that come to the library. They make a few squiggles and think we can tell what their name is!" his reply was that someone had told him if he was going to write a book and be famous, he had to have a signature that no one could read. Well, honey, he has it! My book has a few circles, squiggles, a dot and a straight line and no where has he written Jeff Crilley. I know he can write, however, because he wrote my name and a sentence before the squiggles.
There was a young lady and an older gentleman who sat in a chair near the speaker and "signed" for the audience. I know the young lady could speak, because Jeff used her and others in a demonstration he did. But I never heard the old gentleman speak. He and Jeff had so much fun, as did the audience, in their communication with each other.
Jeff began by telling him that he talked fast, so the man would have to sign fast, which he would do in exaggeration. Jeff would use his arms in making a point sometimes and the man might dodge, or one would give the other some "look" at times that was so expressive we could almost tell what they were thinking. Then sometimes the "signer" would "illustrate" some point Jeff was making to the audience and Jeff couldn't see him do it, but the audience was laughing. Jeff caught on quickly and it just got funnier.
Jeff had that audience in the palm of his hand. We loved him and he was really enjoying himself. We could have gone on through the afternoon. But all good things must end.
And, by the way, Jeff told me that he had been the speaker for the Rotary Club in Farmersville once. Well , let me tell you, if the Rotary Club has him again and doesn't invite me, just see if I'll lend them an extension cord or an adapter for that cord or unlock their locked door or not eat all their dessert!! Humpf!!
The name of Jeff's book, that one he squiggled his name on, is "FREE Publicity". And that book is a guide to us common folks on how to get on TV or the radio or the newspaper with something we think may be news worthy or needs some publicity. This book tells you how to go about it, how to communicate with the reporters, how to get their attention, etc., etc.
Here's an excerpt from the book about one man who did just that -- got publicity for himself and his turkey. One lady from Lancaster, told about a turkey that lost ALL of his feathers during the tornado several years ago there. Or I could have told him about Daddy's turkey, Jim, who thought he was a dog and how he attacked the drunk man who drove through Daddy's gate about 2:00 AM one morning.
But here is Shaun's story about his Elvis turkey:
It was the day after Thanksgiving and there was NO news. Everyone was off work and nuthin' was happenin'. Jeff was sitting at his desk, wondering "how he was going to pull a rabbit out of his reporter's hat", when the phone rang.
"Jeff, you don't know me," the caller said. 'My name is Shaun Walker and I raise turkeys about thirty miles from Dallas, You know where Kemp is?"
Sure I knew where he was. But I couldn't imagine where he was coming from. "Okay, Shaun, How can I help you?"
"Well, Jeff, I don't know if this is a news story or not, but I've got this one turkey that I just couldn't slaughter."
"Really, why not?" I asked.
"Well," he paused, "I'm not a nut or nuth'n, but I couldn't kill him cuz….well, cuz he looks too much like Elvis?"
I practically dropped the phone I was so excited.
"Now, Shaun," I said. "Listen carefully. You are not to touch a feather on that bird's head. You're thirty minutes from Dallas? I'll be there in twenty!" After getting directions I raced out the door so fast you would have thought a plane had crashed.
So, there I was in my nice suit walking through a barnyard with Shaun, "Okay, where's Elvis?" I asked.
"Right over there." He said pointing proudly at one of his turkeys.
But as we got closer, all I could see was an ordinary-looking turkey who was just lucky Shaun had a soft spot for The King. "Forgive me, but I'm just not seeing the resemblance."
Well, just wait a minute," Shaun said. And then he carefully took that little piece of skin that hangs from the bird's beak and he flipped it back up and over the turkey's head. "Now, don't that look like an Elvis hairdo to you?" Shaun asked with a big smile.
I still wasn't seeing it. "Shaun, are we talking about Elvis in the early years or the later years?"
He could see the doubt on my face. "Wait, Jeff," he said. "You haven't heard him sing!"
"He sings?"
So Shaun grabbed both of Elvis' wings and started dancing around the barnyard with him. The two performed a duet for me. Shaun was the lead. Elvis sang backup.
"One for the money…….," Shaun would sing.
"Gobble, gobble, gobble," the turkey would answer.
"Two for the show," "Gobble, gobble, gobble."
"Three to get ready, now go cat go……."
While Shaun and Elvis jumped around performing "Blue Suede Shoes," the photographer and I could barely contain our laughter. It was perhaps the strangest story I've ever covered. And it was so memorable, not only did it air on our news in Dallas that night, but it was also picked up by a couple of the big all-news networks. Shaun and Elvis were seen worldwide.
As far as I know, the barnyard pair have yet to sign any recording contracts, but if they gave out Grammy awards for free publicity, Shaun would have one locked up. He received more airtime around the globe that day than he could afford to buy in a lifetime."